Tuesday, July 28, 2009

IM BACK...DID U NOTICE I WASN'T AROUND?


I'm sorry for not posting sat, sun, AND monday. Honestly, I haven't had a spare second to do much of anything besides pack and work. Me and my wife are moving to PA in 3 days and it's a ton of work. This is boring, here are birds shitting on my car. Enjoy.

Friday, July 24, 2009

PREHISTORIC JERSEY


Ah, a lovely day at the beach with our little friends packed nicely away in an igloo cooler. He's listening to "Walk the Dinosaur", by the one hit wonders, "was(not was)"...... It's a great day in Prehistoric Jersey, no Red Tide, no Bennies, you don't have to pay to get onto the beach, sit in traffic with angry guys in Guinea tees and visors, no hypodermic needles on the shores... actually now that I think about it, weren't the land masses all connected back then?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

BAD INFLUENCE


My child is not going near this guy. He's rotten to the core, but he IS fun at parties. I guess that counts for something.

EXPLAIN THIS TO ME

Can Someone please tell me why a United States Government Started Insurance company has a BRITISH Gecko for it's spokesperson? This baffles me, especially since it originally had an American Accent. The Gecko has gone all Green Day on us.. American Born wantabe Brits. Don't get me wrong. I like the British folk, but giving yourself a accent from a country you didn't come from is just plain odd.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

DONT LIE TO ME

This morning on our drive into work, I saw this van with the words "EXPERT PAINTER" written on the side of it. How do I know he's not lying about being that good? No one is going to put beginner painter, or clumsy painter on their van. I wonder if his title garners more work and I wonder if people are fooled by his lies. I guess I'll never know. At lead Sinn Fein is honest about his skills, but we all know honesty doesn't pay. That is the lesson today.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

GOLF FOR NO REASON


I did this painting about 5 years ago for my dad. It looks great in person, here...eh. It's okay. It's just a golf oil painting, but it came out cool and I'm tired so no more posts tonight. Enjoy?

WE HIT A THOUSAND



This is to celebrate getting over a thousand hits on my humble blog. I'm smiling.., but you can't see cause there is no camera here. Also, I'm not sure if I'm going to get in trouble for posting fake money..hmmmm. we'll see I guess..

UPDATE: I have now fixed the problem.. I have now put Kevin Bacon in the 1000 dollar note to make sure you can't use it. Sorry Federal Government. I'll be more careful next time.

WILMA'S WISING UP


Did anyone really NOT see this coming? I mean, Fred yelled all the time and was over weight and kept getting fired... Honestly, I don't blame her, he had it coming. I just feel bad for Betty.

Monday, July 20, 2009

BAD HALLOWEEN COSTUME COUPLES



I have no idea what this dude was thinking... a fork does not go in that outlet. Didn't his mom teach him better???

Sunday, July 19, 2009

MEGAN FOX


Why did I draw and fully illustrate Megan Fox. Perhaps the question you should be asking is why not. I know, I know... some times she's childish and she can't act worth a damn, but you have to admit, she's striking. I thought about the trying the whole Marilyn Monroe thing and it kinda ended up like the 80's vidal sasson posters you would see when you are getting a hair cut and you know what, I think that Fu@#ing RULES!! I think it's a sweet look. That guy who did that ad I now greatly respect. :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

SHHH...SHE'S RESTING

Look at the belly area, my baby is a growin'. We find out whether the peanut is a he or she peanut. We'll seeee

ETRADE IS EASY


Sinn Fein just purchased 1000 shares of Crocs Shoes and Sirius Satellite Radio. I hope he knows what he's doing. I hope he doesn't think that's a real mouse and he's just batting it around not actually realizing what stocks he's purchasing. That would be terrible.

MEETING SKETCHES



I was at a disney meeting yesterday in the city so i really had no time to get some good solid drawings to post, but here is what I write in my notes during those meetings. The one on the left is my boss...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

SAD



I was extremely sad when heath died. Yes, because it's sad when people die, but also because it was the rebirth of the batman series and I'm a comic dork...Who knows what the next one is going to bring, but it's not going to top the dark knight. Sad

POLAR BEAR

NINJA?



This is kind of a ninja who also has bionics... Not sure how practical that is, but that's what shakin' in this sketch. Bam

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

BUSY AND UNINSPIRED




I literally have not done a single decent drawing all day. The sinn fein drawing I did two days ago and the Calvin drawing I did last night. Some days you just suck. Seriously. Anyways, I decided to take my lack of creativity today to showcase some of the crap I do at my job. I drew this..it's not their art. so... enjoy.

POUNCE


Get em boy!

Monday, July 13, 2009

FIGHT CLUB


First: Let's get it out of the way, obviously there are similarities to the calvin drawing and mine... honestly in the beginning it was intentional, but Watterson stole from peanuts and I'm taking a couple little things from him. I've been such a big calvin and hobbes fan that honestly when I drew this I felt for a sec like I was standing next to a big celebrity that I actually cared about. I know, odd. Here is me Bob and Calvin and Hobbes.


HANGIN' IN THERE



HAHAHHAAA.... I'm sure sinn fein is sayin' what the F$#!, get off your ass and come help me you assh#@$. I think reaction to those inspirational posters would be different if it was a woman or a guy hanging on a high ledge by the skin of their teeth. Anyways, just a thought.

CAVE MAN


Another Happy Dino dancing through the woods when "man" finally realizes his destiny of making extinct all the dinosaurs and slowly destroying the entire ecosystem of the planet earth until from outerspace the planet looks like a giant cancerous growth. That was graphic and I apologize. He's just trying to get a meal I guess. That dino's gonna get it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

WILD TURKEY CHASE


This happened about a month ago, I was chased whilst going on my morning run by a wild turkey. It chased me for about a mile.....ridiculous things happen to me.

ZOO2


More zoo? U betcha.

SATURDAY WAS ZOO DAY!


Sorry that I didn't have a post yesterday, but it was zoo day. Here's what I did there, besides hang out with the bear, (my nephew). Hope you like em. Ironic note, my nephew the bear is deathly afraid of polar bears, which I guess is a good natural instinct due to the fact that a polar bear if ever confronted in the wild will OWN your ass.

Friday, July 10, 2009

GOOD WITH THE LADYS

What about do not feed Farg does this chick not understand. It seems Farg is into the cookie though and why shouldn't he be, it's a delicious cookie. Let's be honest, she's probably going to get her hand bitten off. Survival of the fittest I guess.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Maxx


Anyone Remember this guy? I did this for a drawing website I joined for about 2 weeks. Eh.. It's easier I guess to post my own stuff. For those who don't know, this is a character from a comic book I used to read when I was growing up "the maxx" It was sweet and trippy before I really knew what the word "trippy" ACTUALLY meant, but now I do.

The State of Things

This is what's happening in my office at this very moment. People gathered round not to celebrate the fact that we finally got a new photo copier that was asked for 2 years ago...but the feeling of sheer panic is permeating through the studio at the idea that money was spent. We've had a lot of layoffs, but now a days after all the halt in spending a new copier to us means a loss of someones wage to make room for the expense. It's the sad state of the economy. I post this because I'm sure it's not just our office doing it.

SHE JUST WANTS TO PLAY


It's not a good week for those bunny's. The Triceratops while a vegetarian doesn't know it's own strength or weight and well...it's not looking good. We'll hold out hope for them.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

FArG


Either this is Farg's "it's almost time to go home dance" orr.... his "You've angered me foot stompin' ritual." Either way it's fun. I hope if you did manage to upset Farg you are now far enough away from his Wrath.

BARRY

This is a Post

SQUIRREL POLICE


This is my dad's dog Macy. She is a tiny puggle, but she F'in hates Squirrels. We have a bird feeder in the backyard and whenever there are those furry rats eating the bird food I open the door and yell "GET EM." This illustration is comical version of what she would probably do to one if she caught one. I think the odds are in Macys favor, there have been some close calls, but who knows. Maybe she will just hog tie the critter and bring it back. Maybe she's kind like that, but I think that's just wishful thinking.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

TRUTH


Truth: My Blog will keep you warm. Truth: you can not burn yourself by coming to my blog as often as you want. Truth: My Blog speeds up your Metabolism.

ROOT CANAL


In the case that the person reading this post thinks tooth decay and root canals are no big deal I have an F'in rude awakening for you. They SUCK... I had a root canal and man am I paying for it. It's one of those F'ed up lessons that you can't help but learn from. Like when you're dad tells you not to play with that chain saw, or when u get a messed up STD. I'm getting off topic. Root Canals suck.

LONE WOLF AND CUB

The character in the Lone Wolf movies is based on an actual guy and if u love samurai stories, this is the best one. I don't want to give it away, but wikipedia it, I'm sure it's there. It's not a cartoon, I just did this drawing in kinda an anime style and I actually love it. I might do more with these guys AND Farg. :)

FARG


Do not feed Farg after midnight, Do not Talk directly to Farg, Do not show fear when confront Farg. If Farg Starts to sniff you, just let Farg finish. Do not bring sugar within 100 feet of Farg. Thank You. Meet your new best friend "Farg"

Monday, July 6, 2009

LOST


Honestly, I myself am lost as to what or why I drew this. It was a couple days ago and I need a new scan. I have a good one on the way, but in the meantime, try and figure out what the F#@% is going on here and if you do, please tell me...cause I would LOVE to know.

RUDE AWAKENING


THIS DID NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN!... I just wanted to preface this post with that disclaimer. I can see how this might happen to someone, but it did not happen to me, at least not after the college dorm years, but that another story for another comic strip and probably another humiliating story, but what's new... I just thought the idea of wetting the bed was a funny story. After all, isn't all self deprecating humor awesome. I say it is.

120 Hours ATLEAST


This Mural is Wall Sized and by that I mean, if you printed it actual size it would fill the treadmill room at L.A. fitness. Me and Bob designed 4 of these in the hopes someone would purchase them for a theme park or some shit. Guess what? Any of you can buy it! It's still for sale for a mere....let me see. I think like 4500.00. Based on the hours I worked on it. The truth is, I will probably own this FOREVER. I like it so whatever, but no more random art for nothing... oh wait, that's what this blog is. sigh.... Why I didn't go into finance or something more lucrative I'll never know.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

NOT THE STORK


If you couldn't tell from the title, this is not the stork bringing good news to happy bunny family. It's a pterodactyl disguised in a cute polka dot cloaking pattern and a winning smile. It used these traits to lure it's prey in. The dangerous predator is delivering a yummy rabbit dinner to it's young. I don't know where the beast got that baby blue blanket, but it's apparently smarter than we've given it credit for.

BEER o'CLOCK


What is wrong with this picture? Can u guess....I'll give you a second... Yup, u guessed it, I never get up at the crack of dawn on a sunday. I just can't, I barely sleep during the week so on sunday's you just have to let yourself sleep in. Oh and I don't have my bed near the window. That's just for the aesthetics of the image. Last day before we start work again, oh well. I need the structure.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

WAITING FOR A KICK

This is the hands of my wife on my unborn baby. I thought this was a nice way to showcase her belly and at the same time get a cool drawing in. Anyways, I hope you like it, this is newest art journaling of my first child. Thanks for keepin up with my Blog. Hope everyone is having a great 4th. We're just laying on the couch watching hgtv reruns. Eh.... we're tired.

Friday, July 3, 2009

CAT BEER

Will Sinn Fein be able to open the beer using the bottle opener or will he find some other cunning way to get the beverage open so he may taste that sweet gift from the gods. Either way you know you he's going to get it open. Haven't you ever seen that cute picture of a kitten hanging from a string and at the bottom in big words it says "Hangin' in there" or "Determination". It's because cat's are determined. Happy Vacation weekend Sinn Fein, enjoy the cat beer!

EXAMPLE OF BAD DESIGN

Is it just me or does the Porsche Boxster have an assh@!$. No, not the one driving the car, but probably that too. No, but seriously, I look at the back of the car and the exhaust looks like a pooper. Maybe it's just me, but I don't want to think about a car having a pooper. This makes my skin crawl. I know, I'm odd. oh well.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

DANCE OFF

The first move is like a pumpin' fist dance, verryy Jersey, the second move I call crossin' the streams,(ghostbusters), third is a secrect and you can't know what it's called. The last one is a move that Bob and TJ do when drunk. It's a good one I assure you. Happy Vacation. There will be posts over the weekend, but I'm not sure how sober I'll be. So I'm apologizing in advance.

Michael Jackson's Trendy


If you can't tell, this is an illustration of me standing in the street whilst three people around me are all simultaneously listening to Michael Jackson. Don't get me wrong I love his older stuff, but cmon. Really??? Listening to mj is rapidly becoming the new slap bracelet or pet rock. A little Michael is okay, but I can't listen to Bad again. I just can't.

Hallmark?

Soooo, Amy Winehouse is now going into the greeting card business. Wha? Isn't this the plot to Mr. Deeds? This chick is full blown out of her mind...and one of the most repulsive women I've ever seen. I say this having at one point thought she was good looking, circa.. the frank album. You may not agree, but I don't give a shit. She would be a great spokes person at high schools to show the kids what happens to you when you start your morning with cheerios and heroin. How in god's name is she not dead? Maybe's she developed an immunity to dying having tried it so often.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Putting today in the L column


Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high
Take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow.
I can go anywhere!
Friends to know and ways to grow - Reading Rainbow.
I can be anything!
Take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow.
Reading Rainbow, Reading Rainbow, Reading Rainbow, Reading Rainbow!

IQ


You can't make this Shit up.